The Trap – Piece 1

February 12, 2011

This is the first piece of a science fiction story title “The Trap.” It follows a lab rat placed out into the wilderness of a university. Running at just under 6000 words, I will post pieces around 500-1000 words in length.


The Trap

He didn’t know what words were. The concept was too complex for a rat to begin to understand, but he understood words. He was trained in a plethora of human noises and they each had meaning for him. In that sense he understood words perfectly well. Maybe it fell far short of language, what all the tests and experiments on him aimed to measure or even achieve, but he could listen to humans gasp out their noises and know, on a fundamental level, what was what.

At that moment there was only a single one of these words he was thinking of. To him it might have sounded something like “neesum,” a soft hissing humming sound, not quite the name of a Japanese car company. Rats don’t have names, another human concept, but if they wanted him to come, they called “neesum”. If they wanted his attention, they said “neesum”. When the big human alpha held him in his hands and stroked the brown path of fur between his ears, he murmured “neesum”. If this rat had a name, it would have been Neesum.

At that moment, it was the soothing sound of his name he thought of. That was all he could do as he watched the pack of rats that had recently accepted him and the horror they did. “Neesum,” again and again as four males scuttled next to each other for a better seat at the feast. “Neesum,” as the big brown alpha shifted his round backside around, a pink and purple-eyed pup in his clutches, and then sunk his yellow incisors through the infants soft, blind face. “Neesum” as they he watched this new family devour his children.

The word had given all the comfort it could. Neesum left the den and ran through the dark tunnels in any direction. His nose led him while his mind filled with thoughts. They were primeval rat thoughts, but not totally. Over these came human words. Human words that represented ideas. Together they mingled and stirred around in his brain in a thick dark brew.

Neesum made it to one of the exits. He smelled around the sides of the red bricks that were the foundation walls of the university library. He stuck his nose outside, wiggled his whiskers and took in the scents of the darkness. Centipedes, the grey dust layered on the dirt, the sickly sweet smell of females on heat. The bitches were chased away and now must be scavenging for food somewhere under the university building. Their troubles would be nearly forgotten, while Neesum’s had only just begun.

In a desperate fashion, still chased by the images of his children and these new, alien thoughts, he let his white body flop ungraciously into the dust. Shaking himself off he went on his way, skirting the walls beneath the library. Artificial light drew near as he came closer to the night outside. There was now only one foot of shadow between shelter and the dangers of the open night. With the short-sightedness of rats he could only see the bright circles cast from the lamp posts. He pressed up against the wall as his fear of open spaces crept up his tail. His little heart thump-thump-thumped against the cool bricks. There was a path he remembered, it was why he was here, though he had no idea or memory of why he remembered it or was compelled to seek it out. He would never realize that this was was the first part of a revenge formulating. His instincts were in control guided by the mysterious new words and feelings.

Blinking his dark brown eyes at the light, he wheeled back into the darkness, yet still stayed close to the path. From one support-pylon to another he made small dashes, skirting the light, and followed its course until he was brought to the other end of shelter, the corner at the edge of the building.

Once more he stared out at the path. At this distance the light was just a bright blur. He stared into it, like a child first stares into a television, entranced. His instincts whirled in his head. Human words and images joined them. There was that alien feeling inside him again, fighting against his rat instincts. There was no plan of thought. A rat does not plan, they do what they need to at each given moment. If a rat needed food, it foraged. If a rat was in danger, it ran. Simple answers for simple needs. But Neesum’s needs were not simple. Neesum could not comprehend what the reason was behind the need, he could only react to it. He did just what a rat would never do; he stepped out into the lamp-light and into the open night.



  1. I dig.
    is there going to be any more to this story?? i liked neesum, obviouslly based on the legendary university rat-
    and posted the day after his birthday.

    • That’s the rat! I will post another today and the the rest throughout the week.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s





A Holistic Journey

Finding my way back out of motherhood -- while mothering

UP!::urban po'E.Tree(s)

by po'E.T. and the colors of pi

Dimitris Melicertes

I don't write, I touch without touching.

Inside The Poet's Mind

Official Page of Poet/Author T J Therien

SAKing Photography

People, places & things.

O at the Edges

Musings on poetry, language, perception, numbers, food, and anything else that slips through the cracks.


fiction fact fantasy. prose poetry propaganda. literature and lies by Goldbot

Model For {Change

Creating a positive change.

Immature Fruit

Poetry, Travels, Sketches, Writings and a Sip of Inspiration with Passion.


Bringing you yesterday's news from Japan and Asia, today.

Contented Imperfection

exploring life and the world one day at a time

Nagoya Writes

The English-language writers group in Nagoya

Eli Glasman

Site of author Eli Glasman


Just another human being who's trying to reach new levels of consciousness.

Toasted Cheese

Literary Journal + Writing Community

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

The Community Storyboard

Where creativity meets community

Gotta Find a Home

Conversations with Street People

unaware but underlined

a corner of this mind, come celebrate with me


A piece of me

Hi, I'm Awkward

A collection of random and awesomely awkward things to enjoy...


hot-headed teenage girl that hates ignorance.

David Emeron: Sonnets

If I swore not to describe my heart, would it stop beating forever?


.....a place for sojourners on this spiritual path called life


the imaginations that changes everything

GYA today

Give Yourself Away

Art Bytes

Exhibition reviews and Artist Interviews by Kim A. J. Goldsmith

Virginia the Viruliferous

highly contagious and yet so entertaining

The RunningFather Blog

-• ö.tH(ink)Mÿstiç •-

Black and Write

Poetry With A Touch Of Panache

Bastet and Sekhmet's Library

Stories, poems and thoughts about things I find interesting!

HA's Place

musings of a self-proclaimed weirdo

~Idiot Writing~

'all our lives are a poetry - awake our souls.' ~ Battling the hypocrite within ~

Outlook in Life

... and it is ever changing

A Mirror Obscura,

Poetry, musings and sightings from where the country changes

wePoets Show It

an interactive community that showcases art in all forms

A 19 Planets Art Blog 2010/2018

Art Journey—these works along the way. . . .

Poesy plus Polemics

Words of Wonder, Worry and Whimsy


Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

%d bloggers like this: