Posts Tagged ‘personality’

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Saturday Poetry Prompt Fragments

September 15, 2013

I had my little challenge I gave myself to write a few poems about the day and the happenings that was Saturday. I did pretty well writing about 6 poems in their rough and rugged state. I won’t put them all up now as it will take up a lot of space and they are sketches of final products, so I’ll put up some parts of three and hopefully together they will make a picture of my day, thoughts and activities.

Later on I will post up the complete poems individually and they’ll be added to my poetry project called ‘Isles’, which is a compilation of poems reflecting my experiences, thoughts, actions in Thailand.

Enjoy the fragments if only a fragment.

Peace and regards,

AJG

 

1.

It’s a massive cliché to say

that a day brings new possibilities.

Though I’ll say it because it’s obvious;

Appropriate to any day and especially

this one. Justified beyond creativity.

Specifically defined for this moment.

The hours of waking and the eager

excitement of a new awakening.

Seize the day is another cliché

but I’ll grab it as intended

and just like the phrase says.

2.

Centipedes curl in fighting on the ground.

Lizards awaking from their pathway slumbers

scatter into the brush. Butterflies

chase each other through the vines

with one thing on their minds.

A constant whir hidden close in the trees

singing the song of the tropical heat.

3.

A peach sunset falls slowly over the bay.

The beach cools, the tourists shake their towels and stroll,

the shadows on the green hills darken.

I sway in my seat, sip my Singha, and mull.

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Thailand – 15th of August

September 13, 2013

It is hard being patient, sometimes. Especially with little time for it. It can be time consuming. It is one of those hot days where you won’t sweat if you can just stay perfectly still. But I have little patience for stillness or ‘Sabai, Sabai,’ as they say around here. I’m in the back and forth of moving from class to class and I wore a black shirt. Only mad dogs and English men out in this weather, they would say if the British had colonized here.

But colonization is a touchy subject. I hear they are the only South East Asian nation not to have been taken over. But then I hear that is a half-truth and the real history is lost somewhere. An attempt perhaps to start a clean historical slate. A reincarnation of the nation’s consciousness to a higher form. In this Buddhist nation, they must know it doesn’t work that way.

I’m not sure of any of it and not sure if I have the patience to delve into the truth. I’m a transient here to them and it might just be better to conform to their expectations. If they really did repel the white man, then it might be best to do just that. Drink my tea, eat my bacon, and swim in the clear blue sea.

Goldbot

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An Excuse

August 10, 2013

I often feel I’m schizophrenic

though probably not because

it’s a serious condition

so what I think I sometimes have

is just some sort of paranoia

or para-paranoia because I

never really feel it.

 

I feel sometimes that I have bi-polar

but then draw back the thought

because people often suffer

and take medication and all I do

is go to bed and wake up again

so I’ll settle with mood disorder.

 

Or sometimes when I’m tired

perhaps an illness has me

or insomnia

but then

well

I get better in a day.

 

So then hypochondria

because I list these constant symptoms

but then I think

well that’s not rational

and use my common sense.

 

Then in the middle or end

or wherever I am

or was

I feel

that all I really need

is an excuse.

 

AJG

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The Flame

August 6, 2013

I can’t dance. I can’t

dress well. I can’t pretend,

very well, at least,

to be what I’m not.

But I can burn inside.

I can quietly smoulder

and melt those around me

into passion as well.

I can clench my teeth

and stare into your eyes.

Taking the risk and hoping

to melt the only one

cold enough to freeze

this flame of mine.

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Ideas really are dangerous…

June 26, 2013

Just below this post is a first sketch of a poem. It is not really a poem, it is just a mass of thoughts purged onto the digital paper so far, but I like putting in first sketches as when you get to the finish you can look back and see what u were first thinking or trying to think and how you have managed to articulate it all into something more coherent or purposeful.

I don’t usually like to explain my writing. It should explain itself or express something from within the reader from without. A connection. But, I think I have more to say here. Perhaps more for myself than for anyone reading this. I’ve just recently moved out to Thailand and have finished my Masters and as we do in life as we take one more step down the stairs of life into the darkness of the possibilities of the future, we dip our little toes down and we feel for where the next invisible step is. And how we make these steps are influenced by our ideas…and as I said, ideas really are dangerous.

We think we create them and own them, but they came from somewhere, just like the spark at the start of the universe, and their life is beyond our knowing. They are entities in themselves and they occupy us and like any life they are selfish in their need to propagate. If we don’t consider what they are and their forces behind our actions, then we start acting beyond our needs and do things for the idea alone, becoming mules for their carts.

Ideas brainwash me all the time. Funny thoughts or notions can occupy my mind, but I can quickly dismiss them, usually by another silly idea. But some endure and the longer they endure, the harder they are to shift out from your consciousness. You have been fulfilling them for so long that you and this idea have formed a symbiosis. The idea cannot live without you enforcing it and you cannot be happy without fulfilling the morals, ideals, rules, path, etc. of this idea.

To stop speaking in grandiose vague terms, perhaps I will use myself as an example. As a child I wanted to be an historian or a scientist or a basketball player or a drummer. In the end and for different reasons, the historian idea had more fertile ground to grow and won over the others. In university this evolved into being a writer/poet. In chasing/supporting this idea, one of being a teacher came up, and this is where I am today through many exciting and frightful escapades.I still have all of these ideas inside of me, and myriads of others in a complex ideological ecosystem fighting for dominance over one another, as do we all.

And now finishing another step in my Master course…I am left at the edge of another precipice, questioning the motivation for any of it. I do not feel I have made wrong decisions, but that right now, in a million different mes I could be anyone doing anything. And that perhaps is my point. Ideas are dangerous. Do not believe in them, do not become their tool, but use them as your tool. Take a step back from the precipice and evaluate your next step. Evaluate the steps you have taken and do things for yourself. For ideas have a life of their own and ideas really are dangerous.

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Thai word.

June 15, 2013

So, my time in the Americas has gone and passed. A nice place, Medellin, but not one for forever. Not good for me spiritually, emotionally, creatively, or vocationally. A good fuck buddy, but a horrible girlfriend. After 6 flights and 2 days travelling I have arrived to Thailand. A plan instigated by a business proposal from a friend, but if that does not eventuate, then all I have are options. Four days until my final research proposal of my master’s course is due and then I am once again free to just live. I feel it inside me. That void filled with possibilities. A step down into darkness, but not blackness. What Nietzsche said works in reverse, if you fight with monsters, if you stare into the abyss, these things will become you, but if you stare into the light, it will fill you. I will see with what.

I am excited to wake up in the morning, eat my eggs and drink my coffee, practice what little yoga I know and learn some more, read the paper, practice my punches and kicks, read about science, about how to turn your different genes on and off with just practice practice practice, to meet new people, to talk to my old friends, to eat delicious food, to get high write jokes and laugh at them by myself, to sit and think, to listen to great new music and discover old ones I can’t believe I’ve never heard, to crack a fresh cold beer and drink it deep. As I sit in this hostel, I can feel the anxious energy of the future in my stomach and chest.

I know if I am being overly poetic and philosophical, but I don’t know if am giving advice to others or reconfirming somethings to myself, but at the end of a long journey, at the end of a mission, a task – at the end of your plans you are left with nothing. Nothing but your habitus, these everyday repetitions which makes up who you are. The things and thoughts you can have. These are what are what make me. Just like these words, they have meaning and they are nonsense. They have no meaning, but they mean everything. I could keep writing, but I’ve said too much and not enough at all, I’m describing the ocean one drop at a time…so I’ll just stop. Have a nice day and enjoy your little activities.

I’ll post something with brevity and clarity next time. And perhaps one of my stupid offensive jokes.

AJG

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Thursday 25th of April

April 29, 2013

Another day passes and I find that with more time there are only more ways to waste it. Progress. Or time travel. Some sort of acceleration, at least. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday are gone. I barely remember them and all I do remember is staying in bed. And not for good reason. In this city of Latin love this is how I live. What an exciting life in such an exciting city! As a travel writer I am quite less than the hyperbolic storyteller you are used to. A trip to the store is an event. The best brownie or a new ice cream I can tell you. Now that is information. What else? Beer percentages, flavours, and cheapest vendors. All these perfected and no need of communication. What I lack in linguistic ability I make up with meta-cognition. What I speak is well-thought-out gibberish. Verbal Morse code to the untrained ear. They have little patience for it just as I have little patience for myself. Money is my second language here and I can easily circumvent any problems with a quick flurry. But those days are quickly counting down from all these nights. The days take precedence now and assert their control. I concede and concur. We’ll see if that is enough for change.

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